so yeah...

ok, that first little foray into blogging didn't exactly get rolling, so here is try #2. Well, that ball of cells turned into one Ada Mary Beatrice and she is now a little over a year old. This afternoon, this little bundle of all that is good and brilliant in the world and I went to the park to enjoy a bit of fabulous Seattle Summer Sunshine (it has been very fleeting so far thus completely deserves capitalization), and I had one of those moments where you see yourself from the outside. You know, where you kind of catch a glimpse of how other people probably perceive you.

And, I saw a 'Mom'...

someone who was spending a sunny afternoon chasing a toddler around a park trying to reach her before she put 'god-knows-what' into her mouth for a taste. Someone who spent at least 15 minutes with her bambino sitting on her stomach while said bambino took the sunglasses on and off their Mom's face over and over (and over) again. Someone who enthusiastically confirmed every dog the little lady pointed out (and when one pair of dogs walked by and the little lady said 'two dog' the Mom did not freak out even though she was thinking, 'wait, really, you get the concept of two?!').

I mean, I guess I realized that people must see me as a 'Mom' since I can't not talk about how wonderful Miss Ada is, but I don't really feel like a 'Mom', despite the fact that when we came home, I fed her dinner, put her in her pjs, read some bedtime stories and then put her to sleep, like I do every night, which are all definitely 'Mom' activities...

I still think of myself in the same way that I did before Ada, in fact, the same way I did when I was 25 and living in NYC and going out to hear jazz 3-4 nights a week, in fact that same way I did when I was 21 and listening to Morphine for free on my birthday at South Street Seaport, in fact, the same way I did when I was 16 and taking the train home from school everyday through the busiest train station in Tokyo...

the list could go on and on, but the fact remains that I really don't feel any different now that Ada is here (ok, I'm a hell of a lot more tired), which is why my 'glimpse' of myself today was so shocking...

I mean, really? I'm a mom?